crossing boundaries

I'm not saying I have morals or ethics because I don't, but I keep crossing boundaries I was never supposed to cross!

For example, as a teen, I told myself "no drugs" but it was only a matter of time before I did all of them (now I support a responsible drug policy). I didn't drink or do any drugs until I got to college, a lot of people don't know that about me. I had a good run of sobriety, until I discovered binge drinking (currently, I rarely drink). I'm not saying I'm addicted to anything, because I don't think I am; however, I've been addicted to so many things in my life.

As I've gotten older, a myriad of boundaries continue to fall away. I wasn't suppose to say all those bad things about all those people. Oops! I feel bad sometimes, I don't know why I purposefully guilt myself. I wasn't supposed to drink blood, cut myself, or appear naked on camera. What are all those issues with physical boundaries, may I ask? I wasn't supposed to break all that shit all those times I flew into a rage for no reason. I wasn't supposed to burn bridges here and there, too bad I've burned so many of them. I wasn't supposed to sell drugs, wtf was I thinking? I wasn't supposed to meet people off the Internet, even though I have. I wasn't supposed to allow my scooter to get stolen. In addition, I wasn't supposed to steal all that shit all those times. I wasn't suppose to break all those laws, but for some reason I did. Am I bipolar? I really don't think I am. Why do I always feel so guilty about everything?

Assuming this is the trend, I have to predict that there's still so many left to cross. Sometimes, I feel good about it in retrospect, sometimes not! I'm having a pomo crisis. Just kidding, I hate existentialism. It's just that we've all been living in a pomo world so long it starts to catch up with you! Speak on it girl.