stories

A lot of weird and crazy things have happened to me in my life, I'm
sure many of my "stories" must seem like extravagant lies to other
people. I love to say "I'm the only person who knows what's real,"
because most of the time I know it's true. I still have a young and
powerful problem-solving brain, and my memory is still good. Still, my
life experience is merely a collection of my memories, and I am only
what I remember of myself.

I hope people don't view me in the same light as Aubrey from I Know
Who Killed Me, because I've had this sneaking suspicion that everyone
thinks I'm just trying to write crazy shit about my life, inventing
elaborate, meandering scenarios about myself (to make my life seem to
be more interesting than it really is), and live in a delusional dream
by pretending like it's true.

I love attention, just like everyone else, because I'm only human (at
this point in time). But what do I have if I don't have oral
tradition? I don't know that much, but I have had some intense life
experience which has given me the wisdom I use in my everyday life. I
want to know everything, I'm a work in progress, just like
___________. I'm just trying to perpetuate the ancient traditions of
my dead ancestors- trying to pass down my memes verbally, because I
can't put it all online and expect it to count.

My thesis du jour: it's close to impossible to tell if people are
being real, or just being histrionic. We're living in mysterious and
uncertain times, you can't trust anyone anymore. What is, is not,
nothing is as it seems, and irony marks our lives increasingly in
deeper and more fundamental ways (over time). Irony = increasing /
time. Our dystopian utopia is still in transition, perfection is
visible around the bend, but the road is clearly rocky and marked by
uncertainty and incongruity.

It's getting even more and more difficult to tell what's real and
what's just for show, everyones' lives seem more and more like a
reality TV show more than ever. Just yesterday, I was talking to my
friend Hilary about how we ought to put secret cameras around the
house, and make our house into an amateur Real World San Francisco set
for the purpose of broadcasting our lives over the Internet,
subsequently achieving a higher more prestigious level of fame?

Thank you, Internet, for everything you do for us. I'm using you right
now to promote myself, and even if it gets me nowhere, it still feels
good.

Turning the microscope counterclockwise back on myself, I now have the
microphone again (on my website- dgoodness.blogspot.com). Speak on it.
I love writing about myself on my blog and talking about writing about
myself (on my blog), it's really post modern. I remember when I used
to write myspace blogs about blogging on myspace. The good old days-
equally fresh in my memory, yet still a distant glimmer of the past.
Did I mention that I'm probably not going to make another myspace? I
can't handle the commitment.

I'm an honest person, and I really value honestly, because I haven't
always been honest, and my dishonesty has caused very real problems
and issues not only for myself but for other people, which is unfair.
The truth is not always pretty, but it still matters, because it
applies. In life, I always tell the truth and I never lie about
anything, because it's easier to just be honest. It creates less
problems for everyone, and in the end the honest person is the only
one with a clear conscious.

So how do you know what I'm saying is the truth? Another postmodern dilemma.




But what do I want most? What do I really need to make all my dreams
cum true? To find sum1 I can roll with so we can rob a bank and get
away with it. I mean, it's people like you and me that get away with
murder on a daily basis, why should bush be the only one to get away
with it all...


all alone (in my head)
thank myself I don't dread
I chase reality
not like it used to be
now the future, it comes
20s, 10s, 5s and 1s
cash flow, low risk, invest
secrets fly off my chest
what am I? who are you?
anyone have a clue?
I'm a guy on the go
always fast, never slow
deep breaths in and out
my direction, no doubt
my life is too short for
wasting time on a bore
but my life up till now
even though it's not wow
my sightless eyes still see
wants, desires, and need
feelings come (and then go)
sorrow, sadness and woe
roll off my back too fast
my dreams live and can last
I can find my own way
I'll have it all one day