Britney Spears

Earth day was yesterday, the same night I went to the Circus! I must say that Britney didn't disappoint, and the opening by Perez was SO good!

* edit- pics of me ended up being on BritneySpears.com!!!

have you voted yet?

Hottest Hookup	Biggest Breakup
Lindsay Lohan and Sa...	Madonna and Guy Ritc...
Favorite Jonas	Breakout Star of the Year
	Lady Gaga
Baddest Bad Girl	Biggest Scandal
Amy Winehouse	Lindsay Lohan and sa...
Best Dressed	Worst Dressed
Rihanna	Mischa Barton
Hottest Hottie	Cutest Celebuspawn
Megan Fox	Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
Most Improved	Worst Trainwreck
Lindsay Lohan	Amy Winehouse
Most DVR-worthy Series	Biggest Box Office Blowout
True Blood
Celeb of the Year
Angelina Jolie

Who would you vote for?
Go to PerezHilton.com to vote!

cxlxbrity goxxip

I'd like to thank anyone who actually reads this, it makes me feel good, and I'll always put good shit on it, because who knows good better than Darrin Goodness? Anyways. I think I'm going to write about celebrity gossip. In case you don't see me on a regular basis, which probably means most of you, I'll let you know that I'm obsessed with celebrity gossip.

I usually rationalize it by claiming, "The dramas in these people's lives mirror the dramas in our own lives, so we're able to use them both as cathartic, as well as sources of inspiration."

But really it's just because we're nosy bitches! I must admit, I love love LOVE getting my hands on printed material, even though I never save any of it, and have never in my whole life spent a single cent on celebrity gossip magazines. This is ironic, because I always have a lot, and am perpetually surrounded by them. I bring them home from places all the time. I look at them while browsing in stores. They're easy to find for free, it's ridiculous to spend money on that shit, and quite frankly, it's not worth the paper it's printed on. I usually just go on the internet for my celebrity gossip, because the internet is a faster, more efficient, and in some ways more reliable source, because one is able to read multiple accounts of similar stories. Any spare second I have at work, I immediately go on the few celebrity gossip blogs that for some lucky reason, are not censored by the network. I go on:

imnotobsessed.com a lot- I love this blog! Unlike most websites, the author leaves out negative commentary, it's a nice blog to look at if you want to have fun.
icydk.com- another one that I read everyday.
popcrunch.com- I recently discovered this one, and it's really great. There's also political commentary on it.

In all honesty, all three of the aforementioned blogs all blog the same stories everyday, it's still fun to see other people's perceptions and takes on events, and well as the tone, and the way the information is presented and transmitted.

But my all time favorite, which I can not read at work, is PEREZHILTON.COM- it's basically the best one. I've had a crush on Mario for years, even when he was bigger I always thought he was hot. I think he's extremely intelligent and very inspiring. He's the only one who is an actual celebrity , living life alongside those with fame, who chooses to blog about other celebrities. He always has the breaking stories, I noticed that all the other celebrity blogs, who all promo each other with links to one another (there are SOOO many, probably more than about 70 that are constantly updated, and obviously easier to read than a paper publications (as well as being paperless, so being good for the environment as well). They basically all use Perez as a source, although they never cite it. He consistently blogs many pages of blogs per day- in many ways he is very comforting in the way an old, reliable friend is. He can make you feel good every day, I can't even begin to estimate the millions of people he entertains on a daily basis. He has come to reperezent post modernism in an ironic, queer, and insightful way.

Pink on Sarah Palin

"If I were writing a letter to Sarah Palin it would be a lot of whys and hows. Who are you? Do you know? Why do you hate animals? Please point out Iraq on a map …"

"This woman hates women. She is not a feminist. She is not the woman that's going to come behind Hillary Clinton and do anything that Hillary Clinton would've been capable of … I can't imagine overturning Roe vs. Wade. She's not of this time. The woman terrifies me."

Tori Amos on Perez Hilton

“We're acquaintances. We've met. I think he can have a very sharp blade – there's no question about that. And there's a persona there – that's why somebody like that becomes bigger than life by talking about what other people are doing. That is his art form – talking about what other people are doing. Now when you do that, you can't always be complimentary or it's just not sustainable. There is no career there. So if you're one of the sacrifices along the way, it can't feel good. It just can't. But I think that if he weren't doing it somebody else would be doing it. There's always going to be somebody who's commenting on celebrities,” she answered.

In a follow up question, she was asked if she liked Hilton's brand of style. “I think he's funny, but more than that, he's very smart. He's scary smart. And that's why this is occurring – because he's extremely intelligent.”

from http://ontopmag.com/article.aspx?id=2020&MediaType=1&Category=22

Johnny Boy + Perez = Love.

retouch my body

Jackie Beat has done a parody of Mimi's Touch My Body called "Retouch My Body."

Jackie Beat, still young and sweet!
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah…

You know I’m gettin’ older
And I’ve gained some weight, too
In my imagination I am just 22
I’m way too busy to do Jenny, Weight Watchers, too
The fast food is to blame, cholesterol’s through the roof

If there's a camera up in here that’s takin’ photographs of me
Then it’s true, that you
Must sign this confidentiality agreement right here
tellin’ you, what to do
'Cause if you run the pics you got without the use of PhotoShop
I will hunt you down
'Cause baby this is show business, nobody wants the truth
Don’t even try it, this is my diet

Retouch my body
Stretch me some more
Take off sixty pounds
Then take off ten more
Retouch my body
Re-size my head
Clean up my skin
Please tone down the red
Retouch my body
Lipo my thighs
With your computer mouse
I’m as big as a house
Retouch my body
Remove every curve
I’m goin’ to the mall to get a soft serve

Give me a tiny waist because I eat like a slob
Remove a chin or two and how’s about a nose job?
Erase under my eyes where it is wrinkled and dark
Your resume says that you worked on Jurrasic Park

If there's a camera up in here that’s takin’ photographs of me
Then it’s true, that you
Must sign this confidentiality agreement in blood
or else you, will get sued
Cuz if I end up on Perez, Hilton lookin’ like a lez
I will hunt you down
'Cause baby this is show business, nobody wants the truth
Don’t even try it, this is my diet

Retouch my body
Don’t wanna look tragic
So call In-dustrial
Light & Magic
Retouch my body
Make me look lean
Like fat-ass Oprah
on O Magazine
Retouch my body
Even out my tits
And make sure that this haute couture size 2 fits
Retouch my body
Blur it some more
Come on and give me what I’m payin’ you for
Retouch my body

I just want some gummi bears, I refuse to take the stairs
Make me fuckin’ young and sweet
Get rid of my celluleet
I don’t want no photo, boy
I want an oil painting
Retouch my body

Retouch my body
Don’t cause any trouble
I am in denial
Don’t ya’ burst my bubble
Retouch my body
Just look at Madonna
In real life she looks like
An ancient iguana
Retouch my body
And if you can of course
Try to make me look
Like less of a horse
Retouch my body
I’ve no other choice
I only wish you could retouch my voice
Retouch my fuckin' body!

numbers 1-4

What would I actually become if I got large amounts of money and power?
!@#$%^&*()_+~<>?"



Umm, I think I already know.

1. I would most assuredly gain large amounts of weight. I haven't had
surpluses of food since I was 17, and I know if I had food laying
around all over the place I'd be eating all fucking day. I'd estimate
that I would gain 2 lbs/week. As a response, I would probably get more
and more plastic surgery, which I'm sure would look pretty foolish.
I've noticed that unless a certain amount of starvation is involved, I
blow up like a balloon (I blame my Native American DNA, we've all seen
what they look like when they eat "modern food" instead of rice, corn,
and squash- they're the most diabetic, fattest people ever).

2. Permanent highlights, and I can only assume if I had money (and the
time money gives) I would buy all sorts of hideous "fashionable"
clothes, so I'd probably look like a Castro clone meets Kelly Osbourne
on a daily basis.

3. I'd travel from place to place via helicopter, going out on a limb
I'd say "green helicopter" although I don't know if one has been
invented or not.

4. H.B.I.C. would mean nothing until I adopt it. My bitchiness, ego
centrism, and self-involvement would grow its own zip code (do you
know anybody like that, because I do).

So, I would basically turn into Perez Hilton after a few months. We're
not talking shit on Perez (we would never) because we LOVE LOVE LOVE
Perez. I have sexual fantasies about you, Perez. Thank you, Perez, for
copying and pasting better than anybody else. And thank you Perez, for
outing people, you're the only one speaking the truth.

...I would be that asshole at the bar barking, "Fix me a drink!"

Lindsay!

Darrin Goodness loves Perez!

I Love Perez Hilton

What makes me infuriated? The fact that "gay" establishments have no respect for Perez. I'd like to start this post out by saying that I LOVE PEREZ, he is the only person speaking the truth. Outing gay people is what so disparately needs to be done in this time. I believe in Perez Hilton, I think he is a genius for so many reasons, and his success is so inspiring as a fellow gay man of color.

His treatment of racism, sexism, and homophobia is an inspiration to us all, he's culturally relevant, and revolutionary in many respects. He deserves to be on TV, in my opinion he's the real star, and should be treated as such. The legal trouble he had encountered is both a travesty, and a further testament to the joke that is the "american" legal system. Thank Buddha someone so powerful as Perez should draw attention to political endeavors.

I'd just like to say right now I that Perez Hilton is hot; I would cherish the opportunity to suck his dick. I'm all about him. I think he is hilarious in so many ways. Even his name is a commentary. I think when it comes to really saying something, he knows how to do it, and thank god most people aren't going to be happy about it. I tend to root for the least popular, because in the end, those are the people who really end up mattering, in a strange way. Most people are already jealous of his genius and level of fame.

Someone like him (or Oprah) should be in charge of this country.