[transitory]

-moments in time-
-anything can happen-
-but what determines time-
-is future time predetermined-

an experience :)
a regret :(
a laugh :D
a whisper :o
a secret :x
a surplus $
a deficit 0
a great day +
a loving embrace <3
a hateful glance E/>
a good fuck 8===> ~~~( o )( o )

---

I often wonder whether or not determinism is real, and all future (and
past?) moments in time have already been determined- pre-programmed &
preset occurrences in this dimension, and humans are just playing out
the script of the long ago predetermined reality TV show that *WAS*
the planet earth. At the risk of sounding bleak and existentialist,
which is the complete opposite of my natural state, determinism feels
so heavy and depressing; it feels powerless
for several reasons:

Determinism in many ways makes me think of FATE (which I hate), but I
can't decide if there's an element of fate or of FREE WILL in
determinism. On one hand, it seems as though our free will could lead
humans to determining the future (determinism), yet and at the same
time, determinism could become fate regardless of free will. Such a
mind fuck. I shouldn't make another self-fulfilling prophecy anyways,
cause I already know those really come to pass if you just think about
it enough times.

I didn't even believe in determinism until recently; previously, I had
thought of determinism as a cop out for those who refuse
to take responsibility for themselves. Along those lines, it's easy to
think that's
there's no use in trying to change the world, since everything has
already been determined. It seems crazy to think that all the future
has already happened in a set way, and the future just remains to be
revealed, but the more I think about it, the more I wonder if it's
possible or not. I've seen patterns emerge, a luminous strip of the
past resurfacing in multiple moments in time, manifesting more of the
same, less of the different. Is that part of order and enthalpy?

Chaos and entropy are so easy to understand and see them applied in
front of our eyes, but what about order and enthalpy? Does disorder
inherently create order? What about dark matter and energy, why can't
they be measured, and why are there so much of them, and do they have
anything to do with order and enthalpy? I'm led to think that it's not
the right moment in time, or perhaps technology hasn't progressed
enough to be able to make dark matter and energy "real" but then
again, maybe nothingness is the only reality?

I'll choose to believe something else.

...but it's still obvious that intelligent life will inevitably decide
the fate of the universe...

xoxo, destiny goodness