my life

I realize that there are times when I've completely transformed into a character that I've used in my erotic fiction.

I have no boundaries, when it comes to either physicality, or crossing mental and emotional boundaries that are normal and not meant to be crossed.

I find myself performing, saying the perfect next line in the script. I never allow myself to loose control, and as forced as it sounds, I really feel it.

I accept that I disassociate, oftentimes I don't even realize that I'm doing it. I have no problem getting lost in the moment, but then that moment was all I had.

I will say I love u the night I meet u. They usually say it, either first, or in some capacity, and I go through the complete range of motions.

I experience complete enmeshment with people, and as quickly as I think I've made progress with them, as intimate as I think we've become, it's completely over and the love is gone.

Those moments are the greatest possible of highs, stronger than the best ecstasy, more seductive than unboundless love.