what are u good at?

I am really good at keeping it together even though I'm fucked up on one or more substances.

I'm good at flirting and being carefree, making you giggle, and when you're gone I'm good at forgetting it ever happened.

I lie about everything, I am really good at lying on the spot, I'm really good at remembering which lies I told to which people.

I'm good at self control when it comes to not having sex with guys even though my body's saying let's go.

I'm good at creating the illusion of flawless beauty.

I'm good at speaking and being charming to new people.

I'm good at not dealing with things, I suppose denial is the only coping mechanism that really works for me.

I am good at not starving to death even though I usually go 2-3 weeks without a single dollar in my bank account.

I'm good at being resourceful and making a lot come out of extremely limited resources...

But if this is the case, what am I even good at?

On a daily basis, I alternate between wanting to die yesterday and wanting to live forever...