my hilarious gay SF dating blog

Remember when Left Eye broke down the math of just why TLC was bankrupt when they should have been living the good life? Here is the break down of why I'll never find a man even though I live in a sea of potential love interests. Everyone knows finding a man is next to impossible in SF, even though you would think it would be easier since it has such a high concentration of gay people. Here is the unfortunate reality:

When you go into any club in San Francisco half the guys are some sort of asian and immediately disqualified. I'm trying not to talk shit so all I'm going to say is not even with someone else's dick.

Of those leftover 50% of the club that is latin, black, and white, 1/2 of those guys are too old (over the age of 30) so now that only leaves 1/4 of the total as potentials. The sad truth is if a guy is over the age of 35, there's a really good chance he is HIV positive, which means they are not an option for me.

Of those remaining 1/4 of the total, half are too physically unattractive or their shit is fucked up in some way. The sad reality is that aside from money, looks are the most relevant commodity in our culture, so that means only 1/8 of guys in SF are attractive enough and in my age bracket.

Since our culture puts so much emphasis on beauty, when someone is hot there's a good chance he knows it. When you are on the top of the food chain you can fuck whoever you want and being really promiscuous puts one's health at risk, so that eliminates half of the 1/8, leaving only 1/16 of the total population as hot enough, not asian, and not too promiscuous.

Of the remaining 1/16, half are either mentally fucked up in some way, so lost in addiction that there's no turning back, or too ghetto and have no plan for their future. Obviously, being around someone like that is a recipe for disaster.

So at the end of the day, when everything is said and done, that leaves only 3% of guys in San Francisco as potential love interests. Obviously, those are just potentials... anyone can tell you it's rare to find somebody and have a serious connection with that person...