biology

When I turned 18, I was faced with a life changing decision: what should I study? I've always been able to envision infinite possibilities- initially, I felt like biology (the study of life) was the most important possible area of study. I'd always felt as though it was the most important because it applied to, well, everything. What's more important than figuring out life? I'm not saying it's hard, because it's not, however, I often wondered why I didn't choose something easy such as design, business, or acting. I have wrestled so much with becoming a hair dresser, but I know in the end I'm too good for that, I'd be doing not only myself but everybody else a disservice by not applying myself in an integral area. Growing up, I had a white trash childhood, so my views on professionalism are rather skewed. I know I won't end up like my parents, it's a good feeling. I'm in control of my fate; my free will choices decide my eventual fate. I expect a lot out of myself, and shame on me for trying to take the "easy road" because, in the end, the easy road was harder anyways and I wasn't happy with myself and my choices.

For years I had a deep existential crisis. I tried to follow a path I felt I should take, as opposed to the journey I felt deep inside and needed to be happy- I wasn't being true to myself. For a long time I tired to be a nurse, because it was what I felt like I had to do. I always said I only wanted to do it for the money so I could earn between $100,000 - $200,000 per year- I understand now that money will come if I become the best at doing what I love, studying life. I have a feeling that surgical nurses are about to be replaced by robots (who would do a better job) and I always felt like my job would be threatened by technology. Unlike other scientists, I have the pizazz to become popular, which makes me feel like I would be able to become famous in the scientific community if I apply myself.

I've studied life on earth so long, it no longer inspires me. I find almost nothing interesting about life on earth, in addition, I find other humans to be uninspiring and inferior. I've always longed for something more. I don't think "impossible" is real. I always knew deep inside that since I am good, I deserve power. I want power, and as a queer minority, I NEED power. When it comes down to it, having power over life is one of the most powerful, and it's what I'm going to achieve. Life on earth doesn't inspire me, I feel as though I've seen it all before. Perhaps the only thing that interests me is what will be left behind due to humans beings' terrible destruction to the earth's biodiversity. You know what? I don't care! The earth is not what I want, I'm probably an alien. P.s. I learned in microbiology that life colonizes from planet to planet via single celled organisms; although I no longer find inspiration in life on earth, I will always be inspired by cycles of life. I have to prove the existence of life elsewhere in the universe by measuring it!
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Anyways, I just learned this new information:
"Cloned animals are safe to eat according to the FDA, and the food industry doesn't have to report whether the meat is cloned or not."
I actually am all about genetically modified foods.