body modification

I have always loved the idea that I can make myself into whatever I want, so the appearance can be a simulacra of the way I feel. In our culture, you can look however you want so long as you have the money to pay for procedures.

I was still in high school when I got my first piercing, and since then I got 5 in each ear, septum, snakebites, filtrum, smiley, nipples, and a single point in my clavicle. I only have ny nose and ears at this point, but that makes 18 total.

I think I was 19 when I got my first tattoo, and plan on getting a lot more as soon as I get the money for it. I'm planning out a back piece, chest and crotch piece, half sleeves, and ideally if money is never going to be an issue I'd like to do the neck and face as well.

I was only 20 years old when I got plastic surgery for the first time. I got my chest, stomach, and lower back lipoed with 8 entry points. It didn't hurt that much but over time your body builds up fat in those areas that have not been lipoed, so I need to get it touched up at some point.

As far as other work I'm planning I need laser resurfacing on my face, restalin for my lips, a brow lift and buccal fat removal, and perhaps rhinoplasty.

beauty secrets

I'm almost 30, but I still look like I'm 18. Yes, I do get carded for lighters. People often ask me what's my secret? I won't try to lie, because all of my time, effort, and money goes into self preservation... at any cost. Life is not a race, it's a marathon, and the only way to be old and not look disgusting means you have to want to take good care of yourself. I could try to put all this shit down in a book, and charge say, $24.95 hardcover, but the mainstream media doesn't give a shit about what I have to say. So here's my advice here and now for free-

Don't drink alcohol and don't smoke cigarettes.

Sleep at least 9 continuous hours a night... and yes more is better.

Exfoliate at least once a week. Drink water, and don't put any shit on your face! SPF moisturizer and nothing else.

Exercise for at least 30 minutes 5 times a week. If you do more than that, you can eat almost whatever you want.

1 year later

skinny does not = hot

Goodbye skinny metrosexuals, the beefcake is back: Metrosexual twigmen who admire your shoes are all very well in good times, but when the going gets tough, what you actually want is a REAL man...

Amen!

--- random thoughts

I love it when people look like they're on drugs! I realized a long time ago that there are 2 kinds of people in this world, those who do drugs and start to look gross hell of quickly, then those who can do drugs and still look ok; it's the latter who seem to get through life with a lot less shit. Some people just are lucky I guess.

The thing about people who "look like they're on drugs," is that they make you look bad, just by association. It's unfortunate that aesthetics really do matter so much in life, but it's scientifically proven. It's evolutionarily advantageous. It raises someone's chance to we more wealthy, and to have an easier life.

In our deepest bioogical insticts, it's out deep subconcious signaling to our concious, "this one is to be avoided, this organism is not healthy!" I feel bad for those who suffer this reality- looking at people on the bus, I'm reminded, and overall, a little disgusted by the fact of how "real" real people look.

But I don't have problems like that, and I am grateful. Looking in the mirror last night, I all of a sudden re-realized, omg, I look amazing! I look so good! It's a really good feeling. I'm holding up really great, probably because of the fact that I don't do drugs, drink alcohol, or smoke. I'm sure to get enough sleep every night. Stay active, works out.
___

And in tv news, Mtv and Vh1 are still showing reality tv shows exclusively. Overall, most of tv is reality tv, and thank god! Reality tv is one of the only things to look forward to at this point. It's so post modern, and it really is real life. Everything is a spin off of a spin off of a spin off etc etc. It's how life is, how everything gets recycled, even galaxies spin down a drain like a toilet bowl. In some ways, people are more real, because they are more likely to be less inhibited, in face of the camera. It can bring a huge, fast, and dramatic rush of self esteem. Exposure and fame are the most potent drugs known to man.

Also, there's nothing to watch on tv at all! It sucks. Basically, the only thing to watch right now is the upcoming Real Chance of Love, Scream Queens, and Rock Of Love Charm School. I hope New York comes back on tv soon. I missed Kath and Kim this week, I wish I didn't. I hate network tv, and I never watch because they don't give you a chance to catch something you missed. Kath and Kim is the only scripted show I've watched in a long time. I hear Any Sedaris is coming back to tv, so I'll be watching her the first chance I get, best believe. I still watch Dee Dee TV, it's always so fun! I've made so many people watch it. and they all love it. I have been venturing over to Mtv for Paris Hilton: My New BFF. The new Celebrity Rehab looks watchable. I'm glad Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane is back! I need to watch it more.

Tv Shows that ended: Project Runway, I love Money, I Love New York, The Cho Show, The Rachel Zoe Project

hair loss news

Scientists believe manipulating genes within hair cells can reverse baldness

looks

Until the age of 17, I thought I was totally unattractive. I had convinced myself I wasn't hot enough to get guys to fuck me. One day, I decided to stop wasting time, and instead, I should just tell myself that I'm one hot motherfucker. It really worked out.

Now whenever I look in a mirror I only see the truth, and it's good. It's fun having high self esteem, my life has been so different from depressing, cutting filled days of 1990 never. In many ways I was smart about it, because I always always always use(d) a brand new razor, which cuts so cleanly that if you let it heal and tan only 2 or 3 times, nobody would ever know. Oh no, I'm narcissistic as well!

Not like I don't have hang ups, I'm really neurotic, germophobic, toxiphobic, bipolar, cheap, too honest for my own good, and I can't trust anybody, no matter how hard I try. Trust is a big one for me, I feel really alone most of the time due to my inability to trust people. Clearly, it comes from my dysfunctional family, and people who pretended to love me.

I'm still having a quarter life crisis, but I think I can pull myself out of it. I'm a work in progress, just like everyone else. Honestly, the only thing that really ever gets me down is my current level of success...

<3 Buddha

...even though we're not supposed to create likenesses of him :D